I'm sad, jealous, depressed, and a retard, right?

In fifth grade this new boy, Jamar came. I gave him one look and thought. Eww another dumb boy. But he was different, idk? he wouldnt let me hate him. It was sooo hard to hate him. Eventually Seda, a browned haired girl, asked him out. Of course as a confused fifth grader he said yes. OH, This upset me ALOT!!! But i said nothing. At recess he would always ask me who i liked and i said no one. but that was a total lie. i knew he liked me. and i liked him, but idk? Well we are eight graders now and its hard. He has left a trail of about idk 10 or 15 girls. But i still like him. I don't know if he likes me. He gives me these stares, long and they have meaning... it freaks me out and I turn away. He texts me and i don't respond. When he starts a convo i use body language to ignore. All this and he still won't leave me alone.... could he possibly have feelings for me? Its hard to look into his eyes, because it just make me want to cry. Is this my fault what do i do, i like him, but his attention PERSISTENT attention is freaking me out Not like stalking, just that he notices me.... what do i do??????